#27 Caravan Psoriasis

We'd never heard of anyone doing a rock opera before (that's, Iraq opera), so here's one. It's a coming-of-age story about a boy named Thommi, who is drawn to experience the big city by a pirate radio broadcast of a Muhammad Ali fight ("Ali Ali"). Thommi sets off (against the wishes of his well-to-do parents) and enters the desert in search of, well... a plot. Pretty much his only source of wisdom and guidance is the ghost of Carlos Santana. But, since Carlos is still alive, we'll need to wait a while to secure the rights. For "The Grim Ride Home," all the young troupe has for diversion is a book of old German folklore. They hope it's porn, but their Deutsch is a little rusty, if you catch our drift. Like any good iRock opera, the concept of Caravan Psoriasis is vague enough to thematically fit any lingering childhood issues of your own - with a timely, Iraqi twist to help reach a few more consumer demographic groups. Thanks to Professor Wole for the poetry and to JZ for the clip. 24 minutes of action, reaction & interaction. Recorded live. Here's our 8x10 promo photo.

Listen

Ali Ali (4:57)
Caravan Psoriasis Pt 1 (4:12)
Caravan Psoriasis Pt 2 (7:48)
The Grim Ride Home (6:56) 

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#26 Candy Stripers

The accountants are telling us we need to sex up our act if we're going to "move units." They still don't get it. But in the spirit of cooperation, here's the new, jazzed up, ready to sell out version of We're Late For Class. Spit-shined and open for suggestion. Actually, all we did was concoct a snappy new cover. Just like Warrant would have done... new cover, same old shit. Another 20 minutes of random noise that was made up on the spot. "Candy Stripers & The 10:50 That Followed" seems kind of self-explanatory, but then, we were there. It's subtitled The Voice Box Sessions. While "Heroine Sheik (MySpace Remix)" is a rim job we've remodeled from our first release, primed for the so-called (now irrelevant) new millennial crowd. Maybe we're the ones that don't get it.

Listen

Candy Stripers & The 10:50 That Followed (14:10)
Heroine Sheik (MySpace Remix) (5:44) 

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#25 Right Back Where We Began

"So don't you try to equate liquor to marijuana, mister, not with me. You may be able to sell that jazz to another pothead, but not to somebody who holds some kid's head while he vomits and wretches on a curbstone at 4 in the morning. And when his legs get enough starch into them so he can stand up and empty his pockets, you can bet he'll have a stick or two of marijuana. And you can double your money he'll turn up a sugar cube or a cap or two. So don't you con me with your mind expansion slop. I deal with kids every day. I try to clean up the mess that people like you make out of 'em. I'm the expert here, you're not." - Joe Friday

Dragnet 1967 & 1968 are popular DVDs around here. Sure, the show's outdated drug episodes are good for a sure laugh, but Dragnet was also unafraid to voice the opposition's arguments. As in The Prophet, where a Timothy Leary-type drug guru named Brother William gives it back to Friday & Gannon as good as he gets it. His hippie dreamscape made it into our latest live tape, "And We're Right Back Where We Began." The Meat Beetles are thinking along the same lines. They borrowed our "Humbucker (Short Version)," from #12 John Carpenter's King Heroin, and dubbed some "squiggly noises" & similarly themed source material, calling it "Just Say Know." It's here and there.

Listen

And We're Right Back Where We Began (6:46)
Just Say Know (2:43) - We're Late For Class/The Meat Beetles 

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#24 Limited Edition Release

Some accountant guys at school are offering their services to us just to get some real world experience. And, the first thing they advised us to do is get in on the special, limited edition release scam. "A sure money maker," they're telling us, especially when you sit on all the existing copies for backdoor sales at auction sites (just like big record companies do). So, this is Limited Edition Release, our promo single - featuring two self-explanatory, so-called rockers, "Transmission From Jimmy Miller's Car Phone" (not to be confused with #15's "Jimmy Miller's Knob Is Missing, Too") and "The Lumbering Rex" - with riffs we hammered repeatedly for an hour just to get 5 consistent minutes. This take was about a half hour in. As you can see... this hard copy promo's spine is stuffed with an atmospheric enhancement stick. By merely igniting it, critics might like what they hear. Of course, if these were actually sent out to media, there'd be trouble. "Free publicity," seems to be the accountants' mantra on the subject of our arrest and prosecution. We're not sure how long it takes for this collectible crap to get valuable, so... until then, you can listen to the contents of Limited Edition Release below and download the digital version for free. Then... watch for the rare, original, collectible discs popping up on Ebay, with a secret code on back to deter rampant counterfeiting. Accountants think of everything (great). Recorded live.

Listen

Transmission From Jimmy Miller's Car Phone (6:46)
The Lumbering Rex (4:26) 

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#23 Musik For Potheads

Sometimes, you've just got to call it what it is. This is Musik For Potheads. There's no story here. Just our stab at a three minute hit single, "Herd Mentality." We fully expect this to be all over iTunes and Amazon, racking up the ratings and attracting a media "buzz." Of course, once you hear this obnoxious rock stomp w/super fucked guitars, you'll wonder what's in our pipes... and may even be tempted to ask for some. Don't! Instead, check out the hyper-audacity of "Checkers" and the admittedly masturbatory "Transmission #37." It's just like the subheader says, "Live improvisation for your smoking jacketed pleasure." Recorded live.

Listen

Herd Mentality (3:05)
Checkers (5:42)
Transmission #37 (9:29) 

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#22 Live In The Theatre Of DisBelief

A couple of us wrote a script for a television show (pretty much on a whim) just to see how hard it would be to knock one out. The title of it was "Live In The Theatre of DisBelief." The premise involved a scientific reconnaissance space vehicle, not unlike Star Trek's (Piccard-led) Enterprise, that chanced upon untraceable alien transmissions of music. The music was intoxicatingly magnetic, and would subliminally seduce listeners - despite its sometimes abstract or repulsive sounds. In the story, the crew would listen in their off hours, harmlessly enjoying (or just plain curious about) the unusual sound waves from space. But, was it all harmless? We won't reveal the exciting, climatic, professional, prime-time TV conclusion here. As you might guess... our goal was to attach ourselves to the soundtrack work in any future pitch meetings. So, while waiting for that never to happen, we've taken various stabs at such "space transmissions." This 30 minute plus improv is one of 'em. Recorded live.

Listen

Live In The Theatre Of DisBelief (32:42)

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#21 Science

We actually went into a real studio for this one, and came up with The 'Sup?tet. It's a "defined instrumentation offshoot" that uses pure, psychedelic guitar overload, stripped, simulated jazz/funk arrangements, cheap editing and various found sound tapes. 'Sup? 17 minutes of our Faux Jazz/Buckethead/Tape phase of September 14-16. It only lasted the one weekend. Just as well, since we couldn't have afforded the horn players. It features our usual shenanigans along with another one of our epic, four-parters, "Science." Our apologies to Mr. Rose. Science features a bevy of raw improv, some slight of hand and was "made with the space age in mind" (from our press release). And, no... we're not a part of any underground web advertising information game clue promotion. So stop calling the house. Volume matters. Recorded, for the most part, live.

Listen

Under 30 Second Tribute To Kurt Winter (0:29)
Lab Animal (3:15)
Science (12:30) 
I Alphonia's Reply, II Live At The Loft, III Weather Authority, IV The Torture King
Hell For Red Skelton (0:45) 

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#20 We're Late For Class - A Collection

A greatest hits? Are you guys kidding? Well... sorta. It's just that with 19 posts of original, improvised music (and a Faust cover), who in their right mind is going to weed through it all to hear what we're up to? Certainly not you! So, for those curious about stoned improvisors who give away their music, here are some of our more tolerable jams. If you don't like this well-sequenced set of drug-induced space hymns, then you'll know to ignore the rest or our shit and get back to downloading the new Fall Out Boy. We didn't have room for our 40 minute psych/dirge excursion, "'Set The Controls For The Heart Of The Sun' As Played By Vanilla Fudge Imitating Iron Butterfly When Fudge Were Forced To Open For Butterfly At The Fillmore West After In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida Went Top Ten." So just click on the title for that. Haight-era bong hits not included. We hope you like it, share it, spread the word and come back for more. Listen to any and all tracks in full or download the entire 75 min collection below (including the nifty, I've-seen-the-future-of-online-music-cover-art, animated .gif).


Burden Bearers (Of Aristocracy) (4:54) #15
(Hand Me That) Revolutionary Coat (5:50) #2
(Another) Summer Of Heigel (8:22) #9
Theme To John Carpenter's King Heroin (9:07) #12
Blunt Force Trauma (Unit) (9:42) #14
Fukhausen (Excerpt) (2:22) #3
Tommy Reese's DTs (Relapse) (11:42) #4
A Buoy, 40 Yards Out (8:20) #19
Final Moments Of Barry Cowsill (Redux 4) (10:08) #14
It's A Rainy Day, Sunshine Girl (4:56) #13

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#19 What Might This Signify?

We gotta get a new art department. "A Buoy, 40 Yards Out" is a druggy, meandering, endless sort of an offshore wave that would go perfectly with a J and a Miller High Life. While "Tortured Greyhounds" is a Faustian ruckus kick started by audio tapes of, what appeared to be, barking thespian lesbians whose skills seemed appropriate to incorporate. We'll post those original tapes, maybe... later. Recorded live.

Listen

A Buoy, 40 Yards Out (8:20)
Tortured Greyhounds (12:35) 

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#18 4D Man Sessions (Jazz In Absentia)

This really wasn't a session. During movie night, we watched the 1959 sci-fi classic 4D Man (with Robert Lansing) and we collectively noticed the stiff but spiffy jazz riffs that punctuated the background music. So, Lonnie copied the DVD and - while the rest of us kept bluntin' to the flick - whipped up some samples from the soundtrack's cheap, hi-hat, jazz drum'n'bass. We did the rest. The animated Bob G., whom you'll soon find took vocal charge of the sessions, was a stoned jazz wordsmith friend of Shelly's. The operative word is stoned... and goes directly to the axiom about being careful who you hand a microphone to. His ramblings are included here as a warning to others who might harbor a similar notion. The music itself is our half-baked take on a "get high and go raw junkie jazz" session. Hence the sub-title, Jazz In Absentia. The plan was to fill this out with more characters and sections, but... we never got around to it. We wasted the time instead on this sleek (but ripped-off) promo photo. Time is relative, they say. Since we doubt we'll come back to this, we're unloading... uh, we mean... uploading it here for your enjoyment. Recorded live.

Listen

Take 3 Said... (2:13)
Kluzuski (6:37)
The Squeaky Chair 2 (2:51) 

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#17 Mickey Mantle Stole My Fuckin' Liver

This one's obnoxious. It's the story of Irish rocker Rory Gallagher, whose life-saving liver transplant was undermined by baseball legend Mickey Mantle, when lucky #7 was granted a liver (the stored organ Gallagher was trying to pay for) only days after appearing on a national donor list. On these tracks - so toxic you may not make it to the end - you can hear the genuinely dismayed Gallagher (played by a computer to avoid lawsuits) begging for funds after he learns, via CNN, about Mantle's special treatment. Phone calls from old pals like Ronnie Wood, ringing from the basement bowling alley of his Surrey home (during league play; The Faces vs. The Small Faces) comes a little too late. "Didn’t you need a liver or spleen or something?," Wood asks... but by then Rory is gone. Killed by Mickey Mantle. By the way... The Small Faces won the tournament after Wood was disqualified for throwing himself down the alley into the pins. "The Wake" is the title track's inevitable conclusion. Recorded sorta, kinda, almost live.

Listen

Fuckin' Mickey Fuckin' Mantle Stole My Fuckin' Liver (5:53)
The Wake (4:18) 

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#16 The Second Party Tapes

What if Steppenwolf had explored their hidden jam band? What if they had unleashed the undisciplined madness of guys like Mars Bonfire and Nick St. Nicholas? All drugs and fury, no commercial sense. You know Goldie McJohn was game. That's what's going on here...

We recently attended The Second Party - a gathering of stoners, drinkers and trippers whose sole aim was to get thoroughly inebriated and spend the night deciphering how everyone's costumes and/or actions related to "The Second." (We missed The First Party last year, but heard plenty about it.) So, beforehand, a bunch of us were thinking of different ideas - from Buzz Aldrin to Second Life to World War II. But then Rudy, already blitzed and ready to party three weeks ahead of time, came up with the idea of Steppenwolf's The Second LP. Perfect! So... instead of trying to dress up as an avatar or a bombed out Dusseldorf, all we needed were a few Nehrus, some shades... and music. Lonnie whipped up some samples from Steppenwolf The Second and then a bunch of us just toked up and jammed as we were hearing them, so it's sort of live. The party, by the way, was a righteous blast. Our favorites included the (nearly) naked girl with the Second Law of Thermodynamics written all over her body (everyone was interested in boning up on thermodynamics all of a sudden), the second of time guy (those Physics majors are a hoot to trip with) and even Jesus (The Second Coming). The very popular Shelly (with a bag of joints) made the rounds as second hand smoke. A good time was had by all.

Listen

The Second Part 1 (Faster) (3:25)
The Second Part 2 (Hodge Podge) (2:52)
The Second Part 3 (Resurrection) (2:37)
The Second Part 4 (Lost & Found) (3:02) 

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#15 You're Sitting On The Altimeter

These tapes come from sessions that also produced #5 Le Garrotte. There's not a lot to say, except that these particular tapes were made under the influence of a paralyzing strain of Thailand's finest. For the most part though, this session was a slow groove fest, featuring a number of jams that lingered into the 15-20 minute area. We decided to spare you the excess. We dubbed the beginning of "Burden Bearers (of Aristocracy)," but the rest is all live and all improvised. At one point we conjured up the ghost of producer Jimmy Miller and rode that wave. For listening purposes, if you don't have any paralyzing Thai around the house... Amsterdam Red will suffice. Recorded live.

Listen

Burden Bearers (Of Aristocracy) (4:54)
Jimmy Miller's Knob Is Missing, Too (Trimmed) (5:07) 

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#14 The Final Moments of Barry Cowsill

These sessions came about as a result of a story we caught regarding Barry Cowsill, the guy from the 60's bubblegum band that was found dead after Hurricane Katrina. We don't want to repeat some of the ideas it spawned, though... one of 'em is here - "Final Moments of Barry Cowsill (Redux 4)." Toke it up & turn it up and the imagery should come pretty easy, what with the helicopters, ticking of precious seconds, many trapped and crying top shelf cats, Barry's hallucinatory ramblings, sad lasts gasps and a big, "almost Chinese" fanfare finale. Whether Barry was actually trapped beneath his fallen piano while the water rose to only an inch above his nose is pure speculation, of course. Our apologies to all offended. Technically it's a "parody," so we can't really be sued over depicting the fictional final moments of a washed-up (no pun intended) celebrity. Before you ask, the digital glitch in the beginning of "Blunt Force Trauma (Unit)" is part of the track, not your system. We're claiming that the tune - a mournful eulogy for New Orleans that Barry may have been composing and playing when disaster struck - displays a darker side of Mr. Cowsill, the sensitive, forgotten and often dismissed artist (... who just happened to play in a band with his mom). Both tracks are live & improvised. See also "The Barry Cowsill Monologue."

Listen

Blunt Force Trauma (Unit) (9:42)
Final Moments Of Barry Cowsill (Redux 4) (10:08) 

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#13 Rainy Day Schattenwoelfe

We're Late For Class
VS. Stolle & Member
So these strange German guys, Stolle & Member, took one of our tracks and overdubbed it (it's called "In The Gallery"). Then they sent us one of their basic tracks (from their Reuschberg album sessions) and suggested we do the same. So... here it is.

Since the first half of S&M's 20 minute basic track was heavy on atmosphere, we kinda took over the proceedings. During the second half, S&M reigned supreme. Because it was a rainy day outside, we almost turned this into a cover of Faust's "It's A Rainy Day, Sunshine Girl" but wisely decided against that. Although... we then unwisely went ahead and recorded an improvisational cover of the classic Faust song anyway. Since we're sort of hangin' around with Germans now we apparently think it's OK to do that sort of thing. Shelly predicts we won't sell a single copy. We're all inclined to agree. You can hear Stolle & Member's usual madness over at emptyblaukraut, and both of us below. Our parts were recorded live.

Listen

We're Late For Class VS. Stolle & Member Schattenwoelfe (in der Kleidung des Schafs) (15:58)
We're Late For Class It's A Rainy Day, Sunshine Girl (4:56)

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#12 John Carpenter's King Heroin

Whenever we play, we always feed a "Mystery Track" into an unused channel. We don't hear it while we jam, but when listening back and mixing, we'll bring up the track and see if anything fits. That's the deal here. Lonnie fed a voice through channel #8 and, when it fit we kept it. This is our soundtrack to a fictional John Carpenter movie, King Heroin. Fans of Carpenter's soundtracks will recognize the plodding, heartbeat bass and tension filled atmospherics. Any connection to a John Carpenter soundtrack ends there, however, as we were quick to take off elsewhere. Imagine a futuristic landscape fraught with junkies and ne'er-do-wells... with a creepy voice over. Side 2 of this "digital single" is called "Humbucker (Short Version)," and is a faux "concert" performance from the imaginary film. In reality, if there is any here, there's no connection. But... what's reality anyway? Recorded live.

Listen

Theme To John Carpenter's King Heroin (9:07) 
Humbucker (Short Version) (2:42) 

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Thanks to OmletteDaggle for the great video!

#11 The Quinn/Martin Quartet Offensive ...Tonight's Episode: Dick Gunn (demos)

w/ Guest Star: Jim Carroll
This was a cartoon concept we conceived and sent to MTV & Nickelodeon, along with a short set of music demos to accompany the story line. We did the music when we got some MIDI gear last year and wanted to tune up the system. The networks didn't call back.

The Project: Dick Gunn
A film noir cartoon following the exploits of Dick Gunn, Private Eye. Each week, the ethically challenged Gunn would get mixed up in a sensational new caper, backed by a soundtrack of smooth, Mancini-esque jazz and Badalamenti grooves voiced by a series of artists (poets, writers, musicians), changing with each episode. The demo, ...Tonight's Episode: Dick Gunn, features author/singer Jim Carroll's voice, who acts as Gunn's inner monologue. Since we only made cheap demos, you have to imagine we cobbled together a hard swinging band with a horn section, since we had neither. Click the MP3 player and you'll hear the whole thing, barely 16 minutes. If you're stoned, you might even be able to see the cartoon. Download it all below. It's WLFC... but it's a Q/M Production.

Listen

Prologue (0:34) Guest Star: Jim Carroll 
Dick Gunn, a troubled P.I. with a suspended license, hits the city. 
The Dick Gunn Theme (3:33) 
Every successful private eye has a theme song. But, bum luck gumshoe Dick Gunn ponders how really naked the city can be without a full-time secretary. A band version plays under the credits. We asked for Magic Band drummer, John French. 
Act I: Cool Blue Frequency (2:58) Guest Star: Jim Carroll 
It's a police term for the hypnotic blue noise a criminal's brain produces when he's in the act of engineering a crime. Like the one Gunn undertakes when he breaks into his new girlfriend's Lower East side apartment to confirm his jealous suspicions. She winds up dead. Enter, city District Attorney Fred Steiner. 
Act II: Fred Steiner, D.A. Theme (1:46) 
Unbeaten advocate of the people, Fred Steiner, is called in to prosecute Gunn. Of course, he has his own Perry Mason-styled theme song, since his character will probably be spun off for his own series sometime in the fall. 
Act III: Angelo's Stride (4:31) Guest Star: Jim Carroll
Out on bail, Gunn finds himself in the middle of a bank job gone bad. Lt. Mario Angelo, is called in. With his funky gate and itchy trigger finger, he shadows Gunn against the illuminated audio/visual backdrop of the NYC Jazz Festival. 
Epilogue: End Credits (2:38) 
As the closing theme unwinds, the credits should be read by the guy who did the voice over for TV's The Fugitive. We canned the original "End Credits" music to replace it with this newer, fake German jazz fusion version. Since the plan was to do a new "End Credits" improv for each show, we included a recent one here. 

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#10 Cremation Musik For The Korg

For this session we specifically set aside a little time for some ceremonial music. A Korg unit we've used as a sampler and trigger went belly up, so instead of fixing it, we had a funeral for it to send it along its fated celestial path. Meaning, we burned it. We also filmed it and recorded a soundtrack for it, "Cremation Musik For The Korg." It was inspired, of course, by our previous, substantially similar epic entitled "Funeral Music For The Dokorder," which was a requiem for an old reel-to-reel from our garage days before school. It went belly up, too. We had marshmallows for that one. But, since we were filming all this, we went ahead and filmed a black & white documentary of the making of the music for the cremation film of the Korg, titled, yes... "Wings of Fear: The Documentary of the Making of The Soundtrack to Cremation Musik For The Korg." (The Wings of Fear part is just to give it that Werner Herzog touch.) It's us playing live to the film (and... the original soundtrack). Pretty incestuous, huh? It's for the extras section of the DVD that won't come out. Recorded live.

Listen

Cremation Musik For The Korg (The Soundtrack) (7:40) 
Wings Of Fear: The Documentary Of The Making Of The Soundtrack To Cremation Musik For The Korg (9:36) 

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#9 Summer of Heigel

Two live jams: "(Another) Summer of Heigel" was spawned by an incident involving an uninvited guest and a can of motor oil. We're not going to say what happened, but it's all on film and we can use it if we're forced to. "(The Legend of the) Hawaiian Rimmers" is a concept that begins with a gang of Samoan car parts guys, legends on the islands, who get together for surfing, hubcap stealing, combat bowling (they have their own shirts) and some nefarious gay activities. The "Rimmers" part of the name is multi-purpose, y'see. We've even worked up a theme song, should we ever get around to actually recording it. Recorded live.

Listen

(Another) Summer Of Heigel (8:22)
(The Legend Of The) Hawaiian Rimmers (6:51)

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#8 Soundtrack To A German Existential Student Art Film

One of Shelly's friends actually makes German existential student art films. We couldn't resist. Amazingly, Karl (Herr Direktor) was game, so here it is. We did about 10 minutes for it. We don't think Karl really shows this one very much on the circuit. It's called Luftwaffe, if you ever get the chance. We also did this totally drugged up version of "Tomorrow Never Knows," which we called "The Void" because... we don't know the lyrics and we can't afford the royalties. This was our one take at it so we tried to talk Karl into filming us at some spastic, freak-out, 60s LSD party. You know, like The Seeds in London or Blue Cheer at The Matrix, something like that. He thought we were nuts. We just wanted a trippy video but Karl thought we wanted to be in his film. He stopped coming around as much. Cool existential student art film, though. Recorded live.

Listen

Soundtrack To A German Existential Student Art Film Pt. 1 (5:26)
The Void (6:36)
Soundtrack To A German Existential Student Art Film Pt. 2 (4:44) 

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#7 Room 14 Suite

Here's a quickie weekday session tape called "Room 14 Suite." It's a four-parter that starts as we usually do. Just starting. Here's what started it. Rudy told us a story about a road trip he took last year. He was staying in the cheapest places he could. Early one morning he found a $21.99 room and took it. Turns out, it was a rental room, sold by the month or year, and the guy who normally had it was out of town. So, it was lived in, to say the least. Two beds, one under an air conditioner that was impossible to sleep under. When the cover was pulled back on the second bed it had dirt and tiny specks of debris. Rudy freaked. He couldn't stay here. But, he was stoned and had food with him and it was past 3am on a dark stretch of West Virginia. So he figures he'll eat first and sort matters out next. He opened a tub of pudding but couldn't find his road spoons. So he's rummaging around (since this is someone's efficiency) but finds no silverware. He does find a plastic spork in a wrapper, from a KFC or someplace. Cool. He found the guy's emergency spork, he thought, and immediately tore into it, and the pudding. As he's savoring the tapioca goodness, he's pondering his situation, figures he'll just split this place and eat the bucks, since he knew he couldn't sleep in it. He was, after all, stoned. Absentmindedly, as he's looking at his spork, he notices a discoloration on the backside. He peers closer and sees that... it's dried up food in a small groove on the back. In horror, he grabs the plastic covering and sees where he opened the top... then spots the bottom was already opened, too. Oh!... he found the guy's emergency spork, all right. His USED one! Rudy told this story with a flashlight under his chin.

Listen

Suite A: Soiled Spork
Suite B: While Mackay's In The Loo (Again)
Suite C: Albert Ayler At Wattstax (4 Redins Goes Down)
Suite D: Horse Latitudes (For 3 Seconds)
(Total Time: 12:53) 

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