#45 The Stalker 45

The first scene of the pilot episode of The Stalker is set inside a car parked in a dark, desolate, wooded area. One dumb guy and one dumb girl are wrestling in the front seat. Flashbacks are fast and furious; late night hang-ups, phantom doorbells, cars keeping a certain distance behind. Every episode the dumb guy, Ronnie, runs into your every day stalker-related calamities; dog bites, getting roughed up by flashlight wielding Neighborhood Watch guys, reimbursing people for damaged flower beds... there are new adventures every week. Ha! You just can't make this stuff up. At show's end, Ronnie eventually feels the girl up, but that's as far as he gets. The flip side of this digital 45 is the show's elaborate theme music, which plays under the credits. The Quinn/Martin Quartet Offensive moniker harkens back to #11 Tonight's Episode: Dick Gunn.

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#45 The Stalker 45

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The Stalker (Ronnie Don't) (4:00)
The Stalker (Main Titles) (7:14)

#44 Solar Musik

The Legend of the Vanishing Washington: Three stoned musicians go to a motel to sleep off a bender. The clerk says the room is $30, so each guy chips in a $10 bill and they all stumble up to their room. After a while, the clerk suddenly remembers, 'Hey, we have a $25 Musician's Special.' So he calls the bellhop over and gives him a $5 refund to take up to the room. On the way up in the elevator, the bellhop thinks to himself, 'Those guys were wasted, they'll never know. I'll just give each of the three guys a dollar back, so they'll have only paid $9 each for their room, and I'll keep $2 for myself.' Which he does, even though they were too smashed to care. So, in the end, the musicians (who each got a buck back) paid $27 ($9 x 3 guys) and the bellhop kept $2 for himself. $27 + $2 = $29. Thus... The Legend of the Vanishing Washington. Recorded August 14-15, 2009.

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#44 Solar Musik
(8.14-15.9)

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Landings On Moons Besides Our Own (5:17)
Flying (4:34)
Solar Musik (In Analog) (5:16)
Instrument Of Art (5:23)

#43 The LSD Journals, Vol. II (a/k/a The Beatles 2009 Remaster Downloads in FLAC & MP3)

Is it OK to lie on the Internet? We weren't sure. Sorry, no 2009 remastered Beatles downloads here. But, it's what those guys get for stealing our thunder by releasing on 9.9.9.





On June 6, just after recording our last mind-numbingly lengthy epic, #42 The LSD Journals Of Dr. Jackson Gamble, we took a smoke break to listen back, a favored ritual around these parts. Some folks stopped by, so we smoked and listened back some more. Then some others came over and we started another round. Thus, we were righteously blitzed when deciding to take another stab at The LSD Journals. After arduous mixing, "Chapter 2" is the result ("Chapter 3" is a Martian version). Thanks to Will C., without whom. Also included: an indoctrination-free, instrumental version for those that like it raw (or don't buy #42's premise in the first place). Recorded June 6, 2009.

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#43 The LSD Journals, Vol. II
(6.6.9)

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The LSD Journals: Chapter 2 (14:45)
The LSD Journals: Chapter 3 (6:35)
The LSD Journals: Chapter 2 Again? (Instrumental) (14:45)

#42 The LSD Journals of Dr. Jackson Gamble

Shipwrecked on an uncharted island, Dr. Jackson Gamble begins to experiment with mind expansion. Until he is rescued, nearly a year later, Dr. G. kept detailed journals of his experiences with a wide variety of plants he was consuming, including Yoto, a hallucinogen the native Polynesians used for spiritual ceremonies and sacred bloodletting. The Doc was zoned on this stuff for eight straight months and these are his thoughts and exploits. "It was Oriental women such as I have never known," he was once heard to mutter. Another 19 minutes you can never get back. Recorded June 6, 2009.

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#42 The LSD Journals of Dr. Jackson Gamble
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The LSD Journals Of Dr. Jackson Gamble (19:00)

#41 Sheep Watch

At a military-run bio-engineering facility, a duty roster emphasizes just one rule of caution, "Whatever you do, whatever you hear... don't look into their eyes." Of course, to move the plot forward, a stoner security guard fails to heed that rule and mayhem ensues. Engineered sheep will first infest your dreams. Then, behavioral changes will occur under their watchful, nay, judgmental eye. After that... well, we'll save the exciting Quinn Martin finale for the script negotiations with Roger Corman. In reality, the title track is just another in a series of cheap re-writes of "Careful With That Axe, Eugene." "Capt. Hapi" really only has a sheep theme if all you equator-crossers out there want it to. In the meantime, we've resurrected the classic gatefold album cover for stoners to stare at while listening. If Giles, Giles & Fripp had used this cover you'd have thought they were geniuses. Recorded April 18, 2009.

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#41 Sheep Watch
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Sheep Watch (Don't Look Into Their Eyes) (6:46)
Sheep Watch (Reprise & Fade) (2:07)
Capt. Hapi Crosses The Equator (7:50)
Sheep Watch (Variation) (3:29)

#40 We're Late For Class - Another Collection

Another Collection is 2-CDs, 142 minutes, of uncharted improvisation and drug fueled excess, including a seance with Jim Morrison, a musical romp with O.J. Simpson, a homage to producer Jimmy Miller, the theme song for a low budget cable comedy sketch show, one too many accidental nods to Hawkwind and stoned tributes to Ali, Guess Who guitarist Kurt Winter, Pink Floyd and whatever else was on our minds that weekend. It's all here, from a college stoner perspective, of course, culled from previous posts #21-#39. We didn't have room for our 20 to 30 minute jams, but those aren't hard to find. It's all free, so we've done all we can do. Spread the word, tell your pals, post our album for your readers if you'd like (we've even supplied CODES to make it easy)... just stop placating us! We're not going away. In fact, #41 is all ready to go. As with our first collection (#20 A Collection), we've got a nifty, state-of-the-art, future-of-online-album art, animated .gif cover. When Kings Of Leon get around to doing it, it might be considered cool.

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#40 Another Collection Disc 1
#40 Another Collection Disc 2
(2009)

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Disc 1
Herd Mentality (3:05) #23
Low Budget Cable Sketch Comedy Show Instrumental Theme Song (2:48) #38
Transmission From Jimmy Miller's Car Phone (6:46) #24
Ali Ali (4:57) #27
Under 30 Second Tribute To Kurt Winter (0:29) #21
Lab Animal (3:16) #21
Checkers (5:42) #23
Wind Of The Hawk (4:20) #28
67 (4:23) #31
The Lumbering Rex (Remix) (5:05) #32
Pattern Of Abuse (7:32) #34
Universal Cardigan (Live At Pompeii) (9:08) #38
Dirge Experience (In Easter Hay) (5:31) #38
Buttery Hog Mosh (8:49) #31

Disc 2
Sequel To The Return Of The Son of Monster Magnet (11:00) #28
The Premiere & Final Performance of Jazz From Outer Space (10:31) #35
Liquidity (The Spastic Conductor) (11:25) #33
The Jim Morrison Seance Tapes (13:57) #30
Trippin' In A Plymouth Belvedere (10:25) #32
Particle Alert (12:55) #35

#39 Opium Den Express

When every minute equals an hour... you're on the Opium Den Express. It runs parallel to the old Ho Chi Minh trail, through Laos, for about 22-1/2 hours. Say nothing, steer clear of the chickens and nestle into one of the back births for the chill experience. The vibrating track pulses with the rhythmic monotony of a non-stop train (a 'heroin gate'), offering hallucinations and plenty of time & space to develop your own plot lines. Think of it as a Spaghetti Eastern. For Broadway, it'll require an Agatha Christie-style murder mystery to fill seats. For now, a few bong hits will do. Recorded February 21, 2009.

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#39 Opium Den Express
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Opium Den Express (22:21)

#38 The Dirge Experience

We had planned to do a whole album of an alter-ego group, The Dirge Experience... 60s holdouts with white-boy afros, black session sidemen and a credo, In Dirge We Trust. "Dirge Experience (In Easter Hay)," is the band's signature song, which they insist must never be covered by any other artist after they die (especially their own kids). Will it be a fiery plane wreck or a slow, endless succession of OD's and suicides, where one mediocre bassist is left with all the trademarks? As for "Low Budget Cable Sketch Comedy Show Instrumental Theme Song," imagine a spunky, 10 second loop underneath a blurry montage of the latest troupe of hip, irreverent cable comics. "Universal Cardigan (Live At Pompeii)" is us pompously grandstanding against the backdrop of ancient Roman ruins, minus the gong. It's so cosmic, perhaps you should save it for an eclipse or something. All tracks recorded Jan 31, 2009.

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#38 The Dirge Experience
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Low Budget Cable Sketch Comedy Instrumental Theme Song (2:48)
Dirge Experience (In Easter Hay) (5:31)
Universal Cardigan (Live At Pompeii) (9:08)

#37 Live in The Theatre Of Disbelief II

Live In The Theatre Of DisBelief II is our second episode of mind-numbingly random, alien transmissions encountered by the intergalactic scientific deep-space probe, Trace. Episode 2 comes with a plot development unmentioned when Episode 1 (#22 Live In The Theatre Of DisBelief) was released last year... EAC's (Embedded Addiction Codes). Meaning, casual listeners aboard the ship were unaware they were slowly becoming mentally dependent on the transmission's subliminally embedded helix re-organizer. The plot thickens, as they say. Settle in and toke up for another non-musical, 26 minute improvisational dose of seemingly benign space racket. We're concealing the show's exciting, climatic, professional, prime-time TV conclusion until negotiations get us a graphic novel anime to score. Recorded January 9, 2009, during sessions that included #35 Jazz From Outer Space.

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#37 Live In The Theatre Of DisBelief II
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Live In The Theatre Of DisBelief - Episode 2 (26:19)

#36 Round Table Smoking Circle Sample Jam

Best guess... this is about 6 or 7 minutes too long, though some estimates went as high as 15. We each found a word, phrase or effect to sample, then used them to jam with live improv keys, in search of that "perfect" alignment of utilitarian consciousness, or... until the blunts nubbed out, which happened about 20 minutes in. Lucky for you the bongos were removed. We might suggest a smoking game tied to the word "relaxation," for maximum entertainment value. Finished in little more than the time it took to record & mix it. We're posting it now, the next day, for the heck of it. Normally, we'd just use the "best" 7 or 8 minutes... you get 21. Good luck. It's best not to think very much about it all. Recorded hours ago, Feb. 7, 2009.

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#36 Round Table Smoking Circle Sample Jam
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Round Table Smoking Circle Sample Jam (20:56)

#35 Jazz From Outer Space

Two raw, virtually unedited jams. We normally cut these things down to make them a little snappier, but not this time. These sleepy extendos will put you down like a diseased rhino. We've done tests. Another 23 plus minutes of here today, gone tomorrow improvisation. For those that leave comments wanting the raw, unedited stuff, this is why we don't do that. A heightened state of awareness is recommended to obtain optimum entertainment euphoria. The pre-law guys insist we state that this music doesn't actually emanate from outer space. And, yes that's Paul MCC sitting in, thanks. Recorded January 10, 2009.

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#35 Jazz From Outer Space
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The Premiere & Final Performance of Jazz From Outer Space (10:31)
Particle Alert (12:55)

#34 JUICE

Our 34th release. We're nothing, if not tenacious. For legal purposes, we're forced to mention that any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. But, we're not going to try and put anything past you guys. One might say that JUICE is ripped from today's headlines but, it's actually ripped from 1994's headlines. History just has a funny way of going around/coming around. Kind of like karma. One could call it a rock opera, but then... no one would listen to it. Not even you. So just say it's another 20 minutes of improvisation & manipulation with a killer theme. Recorded October 17-18, 2008. O.J. Simpson JUICE: The Musical
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#34 JUICE
(10.17-18.8)

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Pattern of Abuse (7:31)
Manhunt (4:21)
The Fugitive (7:45)

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#33 Raw Tapes & Servitude

More raw tapes from various sessions. The creepy voices near the end of "Liquidity (The Spastic Conductor)" are from The Conet Project, which tracks the curious (and numerous) disembodied, short wave transmissions of random number sequences. No one really knows what it's all about. Earlier in the year, we hammered out the riff for "ZZ Top Called... (And Said To Knock It Off)" for about a half hour, eventually extracting this six minute chunk for public consumption. And, in the same spirit of extraction, we decided to isolate the slightly slowed vocal narrative from our epic opus, "Final Moments Of Barry Cowsill" (#14). Truth is, we got stoned to it last week and thought it was funny. Which should tell you something about about how easily amused we are. Another 23 minutes of pointless improvisation for stoners, lay abouts and potato stick consuming couch potatoes. You know who you are.

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#33 Raw Tapes & Servitude
(Session outtakes - 11.17.7, 1.19.8 & 4.21-22.7)

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ZZ Top Called... (And Said To Knock It Off) (6:20)
Liquidity (The Spastic Conductor) (11:25)
The Barry Cowsill Monologue (5:16)