#45 The Stalker 45

The first scene of the pilot episode of The Stalker is set inside a car parked in a dark, desolate, wooded area. One dumb guy and one dumb girl are wrestling in the front seat. Flashbacks are fast and furious; late night hang-ups, phantom doorbells, cars keeping a certain distance behind. Every episode the dumb guy, Ronnie, runs into your every day stalker-related calamities; dog bites, getting roughed up by flashlight wielding Neighborhood Watch guys, reimbursing people for damaged flower beds... there are new adventures every week. Ha! You just can't make this stuff up. At show's end, Ronnie eventually feels the girl up, but that's as far as he gets. The flip side of this digital 45 is the show's elaborate theme music, which plays under the credits. The Quinn/Martin reference harkens back to #11 The Quinn/Martin Quartet Offensive …Tonight's Episode: Dick Gunn.

Listen

The Stalker (Ronnie Don't) (4:00) 
The Stalker (Main Titles) (7:14)

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#44 Solar Musik

The Legend of the Vanishing Washington: Three stoned musicians go to a motel to sleep off a bender. The clerk says the room is $30, so each guy chips in a $10 bill and they all stumble up to their room. After a while, the clerk suddenly remembers, 'Hey, we have a $25 Musician's Special.' So he calls the bellhop over and gives him a $5 refund to take up to the room. On the way up in the elevator, the bellhop thinks to himself, 'Those guys were wasted, they'll never know. I'll just give each of the three guys a dollar back, so they'll have only paid $9 each for their room, and I'll keep $2 for myself.' Which he does, even though they were too smashed to care. So, in the end, the musicians (who each got a buck back) paid $27 ($9 x 3 guys) and the bellhop kept $2 for himself. $27 + $2 = $29. Thus... The Legend of the Vanishing Washington. Recorded live.

Listen

Landings On Moons Besides Our Own (5:17) 
Flying (4:34)
Solar Musik (In Analog) (5:16) 
Instrument Of Art (5:23)

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#43 The LSD Journals, Vol. II

On June 6, just after recording our last mind-numbingly lengthy epic, #42 The LSD Journals Of Dr. Jackson Gamble, we took a smoke break to listen back, a favored ritual around these parts. Some folks stopped by, so we smoked and listened back some more. Then some others came over and we started another round. Thus, we were righteously blitzed when deciding to take another stab at The LSD Journals. After arduous mixing, "Chapter 2" is the result ("Chapter 3" is a Martian version). Thanks to Will C., without whom. Also included: an indoctrination-free, instrumental version for those that like it raw (or don't buy #42's premise in the first place). It's live.

Listen

The LSD Journals: Chapter 2 (14:45) 
The LSD Journals: Chapter 3 (6:35)
The LSD Journals: Chapter 2 Again? (Instrumental) (14:45)

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#42 The LSD Journals Of Dr. Jackson Gamble

Shipwrecked on an uncharted island, Dr. Jackson Gamble begins to experiment with mind expansion. Until he is rescued, nearly a year later, Dr. G. kept detailed journals of his experiences with a wide variety of plants he was consuming, including Yoto, a hallucinogen the native Polynesians used for spiritual ceremonies and sacred bloodletting. The Doc was zoned on this stuff for eight straight months and these are his thoughts and exploits. "It was Oriental women such as I have never known," he was once heard to mutter. Another 19 minutes you can never get back. Recorded live.

Listen

The LSD Journals Of Dr. Jackson Gamble (19:00)

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#41 Sheep Watch

At a military-run bio-engineering facility, a duty roster emphasizes just one rule of caution, "Whatever you do, whatever you hear... don't look into their eyes." Of course, to move the plot forward, a stoner security guard fails to heed that rule and mayhem ensues. Engineered sheep first infest your dreams. Then, behavioral changes will occur under their watchful, nay, judgmental eye. After that... well, we'll save the exciting Quinn Martin finale for the script negotiations with Roger Corman. In reality, the title track is just another in a series of cheap re-writes of "Careful With That Axe, Eugene." "Capt. Hapi" really only has a sheep theme if all you equator-crossers out there want it to. In the meantime, we've resurrected the classic gatefold album cover for stoners to stare at while listening. If Giles, Giles & Fripp had used this cover you'd have thought they were geniuses. Recorded live.

Listen

Sheep Watch (Don't Look Into Their Eyes) (6:46) 
Sheep Watch (Reprise & Fade) (2:07) 
Capt. Hapi Crosses The Equator (7:50) 
Sheep Watch (Variation) (3:29)

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#40 Another Collection

Another Collection is 2-CDs, 142 minutes, of uncharted improvisation and drug fueled excess, including a seance with Jim Morrison, a musical romp with O.J. Simpson, a homage to producer Jimmy Miller, the theme song for a low budget cable comedy sketch show, one too many accidental nods to Hawkwind and stoned tributes to Ali, Guess Who guitarist Kurt Winter, Pink Floyd and whatever else was on our minds that weekend. It's all here, from a college stoner perspective, of course, culled from previous posts #21-#39. We didn't have room for our 20 to 30 minute jams, but those aren't hard to find. It's all free, so we've done all we can do. Spread the word, tell your pals, post our album for your readers if you'd like... just stop placating us! We're not going away. In fact, #41 is all ready to go. As with our first collection (#20 A Collection), we've got a nifty, state-of-the-art, future-of-online-album art, animated .gif cover. When Kings Of Leon get around to doing it, it might be considered cool.


Listen

Disc 1 
Herd Mentality (3:05) #23 
Low Budget Cable Sketch Comedy Show Instrumental Theme Song (2:48) #38 
Transmission From Jimmy Miller's Car Phone (6:46) #24 
Ali Ali (4:57) #27 
Under 30 Second Tribute To Kurt Winter (0:29) #21 
Lab Animal (3:16) #21 
Checkers (5:42) #23 
Wind Of The Hawk (4:20) #28 
67 (4:23) #31 
The Lumbering Rex (Remix) (5:05) #32 
Pattern Of Abuse (7:32) #34 
Universal Cardigan (Live At Pompeii) (9:08) #38 
Dirge Experience (In Easter Hay) (5:31) #38 
Buttery Hog Mosh (8:49) #31 

Disc 2 
Sequel To The Return Of The Son of Monster Magnet (11:00) #28 
The Premiere & Final Performance of Jazz From Outer Space (10:31) #35 
Liquidity (The Spastic Conductor) (11:25) #33 
The Jim Morrison Seance Tapes (13:57) #30 
Trippin' In A Plymouth Belvedere (10:25) #32 
Particle Alert (12:55) #35 

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#39 Opium Den Express

When every minute equals an hour... you're on the Opium Den Express. It runs parallel to the old Ho Chi Minh trail, through Laos, for about 22-1/2 hours. Say nothing, steer clear of the chickens and nestle into one of the back births for the chill experience. The vibrating track pulses with the rhythmic monotony of a non-stop train (a 'heroin gate'), offering hallucinations and plenty of time & space to develop your own plot lines. Think of it as a Spaghetti Eastern. For Broadway, it'll require an Agatha Christie-style murder mystery to fill seats. For now, a few bong hits will do. Recorded live.

Listen

Opium Den Express (22:21)

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#38 The Dirge Experience

We had planned to do a whole album of an alter-ego group, The Dirge Experience... 60s holdouts with white-boy afros, black session sidemen and a credo, In Dirge We Trust. "Dirge Experience (In Easter Hay)," is the band's signature song, which they insist must never be covered by any other artist after they die (especially their own kids). Will it be a fiery plane wreck or a slow, endless succession of OD's and suicides, where one mediocre bassist is left with all the trademarks? As for "Low Budget Cable Sketch Comedy Show Instrumental Theme Song," imagine a spunky, 10 second loop underneath a blurry montage of the latest troupe of hip, irreverent cable comics. "Universal Cardigan (Live At Pompeii)" is us pompously grandstanding against the backdrop of ancient Roman ruins, minus the gong. It's so cosmic, perhaps you should save it for an eclipse or something. Recorded live.

Listen

Low Budget Cable Sketch Comedy Show Instrumental Theme Song (2:48)
Dirge Experience (In Easter Hay) (5:31) 
Universal Cardigan (Live At Pompeii) (9:08)  

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#37 Live In The Theatre Of DisBelief II

Live In The Theatre Of DisBelief II is our second episode of mind-numbingly random, alien transmissions encountered by the intergalactic scientific deep-space probe, Trace. Episode 2 comes with a plot development unmentioned when Episode 1 (#22 Live In The Theatre Of DisBelief) was released earlier... EAC's (Embedded Addiction Codes). Meaning, casual listeners aboard the ship were unaware they were slowly becoming mentally dependent on the transmission's subliminally embedded helix re-organizer. The plot thickens, as they say. Settle in and toke up for another non-musical, 26 minute improvisational dose of seemingly benign space racket. We're concealing the show's exciting, climatic, professional, prime-time TV conclusion until negotiations get us a graphic novel anime to score. Recorded live, during sessions that included #35 Jazz From Outer Space.

Listen

Live In The Theatre Of DisBelief - Episode 2 (26:19)

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#36 Round Table Smoking Circle Sample Jam

Best guess... this is about 6 or 7 minutes too long, though some estimates went as high as 15. We each found a word, phrase or effect to sample, then used them to jam with live improv keys, in search of that "perfect" alignment of utilitarian consciousness, or... until the blunts nubbed out, which happened about 20 minutes in. Lucky for you the bongos were removed. We might suggest a smoking game tied to the word "relaxation," for maximum entertainment value. Finished in little more than the time it took to record & mix it. We're posting it now, the next day, for the heck of it. Normally, we'd just use the "best" 7 or 8 minutes... you get 21. Good luck. It's best not to think very much about it all. Recorded hours ago.

Listen

Round Table Smoking Circle Sample Jam (20:56)

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#35 Jazz From Outer Space

Two raw, virtually unedited jams. We normally cut these things down to make them a little snappier, but not this time. These sleepy extendos will put you down like a diseased rhino. We've done tests. Another 23 plus minutes of here today, gone tomorrow improvisation. For those that leave comments wanting the raw, unedited stuff, this is why we don't do that. A heightened state of awareness is recommended to obtain optimum entertainment euphoria. The pre-law guys insist we state that this music doesn't actually emanate from outer space. And, yes that's Paul MCC sitting in, thanks. Recorded live.

Listen

The Premiere & Final Performance Of Jazz From Outer Space (10:31) 
Particle Alert (12:55)

   

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#34 JUICE

Our 34th release. We're nothing, if not tenacious. For legal purposes, we're forced to mention that any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. But, we're not going to try and put anything past you guys. One might say that JUICE is ripped from today's headlines but, it's actually ripped from 1994's headlines. History just has a funny way of going around/coming around. Kind of like karma. One could call it a rock opera, but then... no one would listen to it. Not even you. So just say it's another 20 minutes of improvisation & manipulation with a killer theme. Recorded live.

Listen
Pattern Of Abuse (7:31)
Manhunt (4:21)
The Fugitive (7:45)

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We play this way too much around here. Affectionately known as "Platypus Manhunt," it's one of four videos posted over at YouTube by our web buddy, slaxor. Thanks a million.

#33 Raw Tapes & Servitude

More raw tapes from various sessions. The creepy voices near the end of "Liquidity (The Spastic Conductor)" are from The Conet Project, which tracks the curious (and numerous) disembodied, short wave transmissions of random number sequences. No one really knows what it's all about. Earlier in the year, we hammered out the riff for "ZZ Top Called... (And Said To Knock It Off)" for about a half hour, eventually extracting this six minute chunk for public consumption. And, in the same spirit of extraction, we decided to isolate the slightly slowed vocal narrative from our epic opus, "Final Moments Of Barry Cowsill (Redux 4)" (#14). Truth is, we got stoned to it last week and thought it was funny. Which should tell you something about about how easily amused we are. Another 23 minutes of pointless improvisation for stoners, lay abouts and potato stick consuming couch potatoes. You know who you are. #14 The Final Moments Of Barry Cowsill is here.

Listen

ZZ Top Called... (And Said To Knock It Off) (6:20)
Liquidity (The Spastic Conductor) (11:25)
The Barry Cowsill Monologue (5:16) 

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#32 Trippin' In A Plymouth Belvedere

#32 in a series. Various tracks from various sessions we've been endlessly mixing and remixing with no actual goal in mind. The title track is a true story about a hitchhiking incident involving a Plymouth Belvedere driven by two, off-work day strippers. Embellishments will likely make future versions of the story more potent. It's an outtake from the #21 Science sessions. "The Lumbering Rex (Remix)" is from later and "Sanctified" is a ranting guitar workout from our unfinished War Of The Worlds Sessions. This never fit any themes, and it probably won't fit here, either. Another 20 minutes of made-up stuff we'll never do again.

Listen

Trippin' In A Plymouth Belvedere (10:25) (w/ College Sweater Breach & The Misplaced Prelude)
The Lumbering Rex (Remix) (5:05)
Sanctified (4:40) 

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#31 Transmissions Vol. 2: The LSD Sessions

More random transmissions from the void, this one with a theme... The LSD Sessions, though, we're not saying why. We will say that we thought each of these improvisational jams were about 30 minutes long. For optimum enjoyment, we're advising drug use, though local authorities may frown on the practice.


 
Listen

67 (4:23)
Closing Ceremonies (At The Beastie Boys' House) (5:27)
Buttery Hog Mosh (8:49) 

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#30 The Jim Morrison Seance Tapes

We're not sure how the idea hatched but we know the concept doesn't need much of a set up... it's a live space improvisation during a Jim Morrison seance. Why not!? It's cheaper than a living singer (classified ads, lodging, alcohol) and besides... you know how lead singers are to deal with. Since Bono isn't dead yet, we thought, who better than poet/philosopher/comedian Jim Morrison? And so you don't think this is just something we slapped together with old recordings and ProTools, listen for yourself as the engineer asks Jim for the "post-death stuff... the stuff without copyrights." For those that don't buy the premise, we've included a bonus, 14-minute instrumental mix (minus Jim) from when it was called "Message From Fornax" for a few hours. In the end, Jimbo was fun, even if he did sound like he was drunk in Paris. It went smoother than our Screamin' Jay Hawkins seance, anyway.

Listen

The Jim Morrison Seance Tapes (13:57)
Message From Fornax (Pre-JMST Instrumental) (14:02)

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#29 Bob Can Hear Us

Alright, see what you think of this one. A 22:44 live space dirge dedicated to our long-suffering neighbor, Bob. It could be worse. This improv was originally over 40 minutes long. Recorded live, along with The Jim Morrison Seance Tapes (#30)





Listen

Bob Can Hear Us (22:44)

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#28 Transmissions Vol. 1

The first in a series, probably. "Sequel To The Return Of The Son Of Monster Magnet" started out as a nod to Frank Zappa's Freak Out, but halfway through the 11 minutes turned into a Hawkwind jam. We didn't expect that. So, we went full bore Hawkwind on "Wind Of The Hawk." The inspiration being us previously being accidentally inspired to sound like Hawkwind. Seemed like a good enough excuse. Speaking of Zappa, that's actually Frank excusing himself to take a piss at the beginning of "Glenn Miller's Luggage Is Missing, Too." It's a never before heard snippet we managed to acquire (don't ask how), making this a "must have" for Frank Zappa collectors out there. Yet another Creative Accountants idea for expanding our fan base. The song itself (with overdubbed vocals) is a spoof of Andy Mackay's similarly named tune from his '70's rock opera, Rock Follies, with an unlikely musical debt to an old Mothers of Invention tune. Yet another 20 minutes of pointless improvisation, recorded live. Except for the dubbed vocals.

Listen

Sequel To The Return Of The Son Of Monster Magnet (11:00)
Wind Of The Hawk (4:20)
Glenn Miller's Luggage Is Missing, Too (5:31) 

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#27 Caravan Psoriasis

We'd never heard of anyone doing a rock opera before (that's, Iraq opera), so here's one. It's a coming-of-age story about a boy named Thommi, who is drawn to experience the big city by a pirate radio broadcast of a Muhammad Ali fight ("Ali Ali"). Thommi sets off (against the wishes of his well-to-do parents) and enters the desert in search of, well... a plot. Pretty much his only source of wisdom and guidance is the ghost of Carlos Santana. But, since Carlos is still alive, we'll need to wait a while to secure the rights. For "The Grim Ride Home," all the young troupe has for diversion is a book of old German folklore. They hope it's porn, but their Deutsch is a little rusty, if you catch our drift. Like any good iRock opera, the concept of Caravan Psoriasis is vague enough to thematically fit any lingering childhood issues of your own - with a timely, Iraqi twist to help reach a few more consumer demographic groups. Thanks to Professor Wole for the poetry and to JZ for the clip. 24 minutes of action, reaction & interaction. Recorded live. Here's our 8x10 promo photo.

Listen

Ali Ali (4:57)
Caravan Psoriasis Pt 1 (4:12)
Caravan Psoriasis Pt 2 (7:48)
The Grim Ride Home (6:56) 

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#26 Candy Stripers

The accountants are telling us we need to sex up our act if we're going to "move units." They still don't get it. But in the spirit of cooperation, here's the new, jazzed up, ready to sell out version of We're Late For Class. Spit-shined and open for suggestion. Actually, all we did was concoct a snappy new cover. Just like Warrant would have done... new cover, same old shit. Another 20 minutes of random noise that was made up on the spot. "Candy Stripers & The 10:50 That Followed" seems kind of self-explanatory, but then, we were there. It's subtitled The Voice Box Sessions. While "Heroine Sheik (MySpace Remix)" is a rim job we've remodeled from our first release, primed for the so-called (now irrelevant) new millennial crowd. Maybe we're the ones that don't get it.

Listen

Candy Stripers & The 10:50 That Followed (14:10)
Heroine Sheik (MySpace Remix) (5:44) 

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#25 Right Back Where We Began

"So don't you try to equate liquor to marijuana, mister, not with me. You may be able to sell that jazz to another pothead, but not to somebody who holds some kid's head while he vomits and wretches on a curbstone at 4 in the morning. And when his legs get enough starch into them so he can stand up and empty his pockets, you can bet he'll have a stick or two of marijuana. And you can double your money he'll turn up a sugar cube or a cap or two. So don't you con me with your mind expansion slop. I deal with kids every day. I try to clean up the mess that people like you make out of 'em. I'm the expert here, you're not." - Joe Friday

Dragnet 1967 & 1968 are popular DVDs around here. Sure, the show's outdated drug episodes are good for a sure laugh, but Dragnet was also unafraid to voice the opposition's arguments. As in The Prophet, where a Timothy Leary-type drug guru named Brother William gives it back to Friday & Gannon as good as he gets it. His hippie dreamscape made it into our latest live tape, "And We're Right Back Where We Began." The Meat Beetles are thinking along the same lines. They borrowed our "Humbucker (Short Version)," from #12 John Carpenter's King Heroin, and dubbed some "squiggly noises" & similarly themed source material, calling it "Just Say Know." It's here and there.

Listen

And We're Right Back Where We Began (6:46)
Just Say Know (2:43) - We're Late For Class/The Meat Beetles 

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#24 Limited Edition Release

Some accountant guys at school are offering their services to us just to get some real world experience. And, the first thing they advised us to do is get in on the special, limited edition release scam. "A sure money maker," they're telling us, especially when you sit on all the existing copies for backdoor sales at auction sites (just like big record companies do). So, this is Limited Edition Release, our promo single - featuring two self-explanatory, so-called rockers, "Transmission From Jimmy Miller's Car Phone" (not to be confused with #15's "Jimmy Miller's Knob Is Missing, Too") and "The Lumbering Rex" - with riffs we hammered repeatedly for an hour just to get 5 consistent minutes. This take was about a half hour in. As you can see... this hard copy promo's spine is stuffed with an atmospheric enhancement stick. By merely igniting it, critics might like what they hear. Of course, if these were actually sent out to media, there'd be trouble. "Free publicity," seems to be the accountants' mantra on the subject of our arrest and prosecution. We're not sure how long it takes for this collectible crap to get valuable, so... until then, you can listen to the contents of Limited Edition Release below and download the digital version for free. Then... watch for the rare, original, collectible discs popping up on Ebay, with a secret code on back to deter rampant counterfeiting. Accountants think of everything (great). Recorded live.

Listen

Transmission From Jimmy Miller's Car Phone (6:46)
The Lumbering Rex (4:26) 

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#23 Musik For Potheads

Sometimes, you've just got to call it what it is. This is Musik For Potheads. There's no story here. Just our stab at a three minute hit single, "Herd Mentality." We fully expect this to be all over iTunes and Amazon, racking up the ratings and attracting a media "buzz." Of course, once you hear this obnoxious rock stomp w/super fucked guitars, you'll wonder what's in our pipes... and may even be tempted to ask for some. Don't! Instead, check out the hyper-audacity of "Checkers" and the admittedly masturbatory "Transmission #37." It's just like the subheader says, "Live improvisation for your smoking jacketed pleasure." Recorded live.

Listen

Herd Mentality (3:05)
Checkers (5:42)
Transmission #37 (9:29) 

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